Taking care of children during the busy holiday season can be especially stressful. Caregivers are managing little people’s big feelings; parents’ anxieties; the hustle and bustle of gift shopping, cooking, decorating, and holiday gatherings; and their own families and finances as well. Veteran providers know that the best way to manage holiday stress is to be mindful and intentional about caring for yourself, as well as the children. This season (and all through the year), here are a few self-care gifts that keep on giving.
Treat Yourself to Small Comforts
Lucy Hinojosa takes care of her own children (7 and 3), as well as kids of neighbors and her church community. When things get really stressful, she advises, “Listen to your body; it will tell you what you need.” Taking an afternoon off to go to the gym, go for a swim, or just have some “me time” helps her prioritize and organize all the other tasks she feels responsible for. “It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be perfect,” she says. “You are already doing enough, and making time to have fun with your own family will also build your energy for caregiving.” Recently, she and her daughter took a cooking class together and then made cookies to sell at a local Christmas fair. “It was a really special memory that we can do again as a family.”
New Jersey provider Azizah Arline affirms that small comforts like these have a big impact on a provider’s mental health. “I like to get my nails done and get my hair done. I like a good massage. I know that when I feel good and I like what I see, then I share that with other people too.” Azizah emphasizes the importance of projecting positivity to others who are also feeling the stress of the season. When her water heater broke down recently, she called a plumber and went on with the work day. “That kind of day-to-day trouble can really get to you,” she says, “but you have to let it go and be grateful for the trouble you don’t have. I look at the big picture. I’ve got a thriving business, I’ve got my health, and I’m going to pass on this positive energy to the children and my families.”
Follow Healthy Routines
Going to the gym or getting a massage doesn’t need to be a one-off event.
“Making time for your own health and wellness means establishing routines, just like the routines we establish for children. They are good for us all,” says Azizah. After more than 20 years of taking care of children, Azizah has established a regular walking regimen (preferably outside in nature), keeps up with her routine medical appointments (mammograms, physicals, etc.) and gets to bed early to ensure she gets a full eight hours of sleep. “When I get up every morning, I have about 20 jobs to do, but I feel rested. I feel strong. I’m able to take on the stresses of work and the world. Getting the proper amount of sleep is probably the best thing you can do for your brain and your body—the only body you’re ever going to have in this world.”
Honor Respectful Boundaries
Just as self-care routines strengthen your body to withstand unexpected stress, honoring boundaries that show respect for yourself and others relieves the stress that holiday obligations and excess can bring. Susan Randolph has been taking care of children for decades in her Arizona home and notes that the unpredictability of cash flow in the child care industry can be a real challenge for providers, especially during the holidays. “That’s why it’s really an act of self-care to honor the contract that you’ve made with families and hold them to the time boundaries and payment rules that they’ve agreed to.” For example, Susan recently cut back her hours from 10-hour days to eight, and from five days a week to four. “Fridays are for me now,” she says. I can go to the doctor, I can read a book, I can finish my degree in Early Childhood Education. Those are things that make me better, and then I’m better for my family and for the families I serve.”
Susan celebrates Kwanzaa with her family and in her child care. “Kwanzaa is about giving to others and being a responsible member of your own community. Everybody helps and everybody is served. Firm boundaries help us to meet those responsibilities in ways that respect everyone’s needs,” she says. “Child care providers spend a lot of time creating fair policies. Now we have to respect ourselves and follow them and insist that families follow them.”
Whatever your stresses are this season, listen to the wise women of home-based child care. Get a massage, go for a long walk, and give yourself permission to say no. Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give to your loved ones.
